Go With The Flow

I’ve had this motto for as long as I can remember. I didn’t really have big dreams and ambitions, no goals of fame and great fortune (though if the latter should come I have no objection!); my main goal was really to have a nice and happy family life. So everything else was done merely in pursuit of that goal.

I pretty much let “destiny” dictate my life, and wittingly or unwittingly I did not give myself a lot of choices. For college, I only took 2 entrance exams. The same is true with law school entrance exams. I was actually not really bent on going to law school. I just decided to try taking the LAE, and figured that if I passed it then it meant I was “meant” to become a lawyer (UP or nothing ang drama; in reality I just did not want to make a choice). Stuff happened, and 10 years later here I am, a lawyer.

Sometimes it’s nice that even though you didn’t do much planning, you realize that life has taken you in the right direction. On the other hand, I also realized that this lack of planning and relying on things to fall into place on their own has its drawbacks. For one, I let “fate” decide my profession. Now that I have firsthand experience, it’s really not the most ideal for child-rearing, because being in this profession takes up a lot of your time. If you work in a law-firm, there’s a lot of stress and too little time to deal with it. By the time you’re able to go home, your baby is asleep. Quality time becomes rare.

I also had no long-term career plan; as usual, I just let things take its course. Now that I am in the academe, I realized that there is something that would probably be required of me in the future if I were to advance, but right now I don’t see how I’ll be able to obtain it, given my set of circumstances. I’ll just have to wait and see.

Sometimes, I also think that it would have been great if I became a pediatrician (though I don’t know how I would have been able to survive med school :P) instead of a lawyer. Why is this? Well, at least if I were a pediatrician, I would have known what to do when my baby was sick last week; while I did not necessarily panic, there were all these uncertainties about what to do: when do I take him to the doctor?, do I wake him up to give him his fever medicine or let him sleep?, and most importantly, what is the highest temperature he can have before I bring him to the emergency room? These are questions which I figured I would know the answer to if I were a doctor and not a lawyer.

Finally, lack of foresight led us, while shopping for our bed, to get a queen-sized one with wooden headboard and posts. Had I looked a few years ahead, I would have considered that I may have to co-sleep with my baby, and that such bed is not the most ideal. Truth be told, I think the best bed for co-sleeping is one that’s king-sized, not too high off the ground, with a cushioned headboard and no posts. That, I think, is the safest family bed for a wriggly, rolling, always-on-the-go toddler.

Well. The choices have already been made, I have to live with them. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret anything, and in fact I feel that I have been lucky that things came somewhat easily for me. I just think that from now on, maybe I should start doing some planning too. 🙂


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